Jokes on Education

He said his college football coach took a 5% salary cut during the last recession.
The college was really grateful because it meant they could hire 3 more teachers.
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Let me present here an extract from the ebook The Power of Laughter
 
Jokes on Education

My brother got a degree in Languages. He can’t get a job with it but he said that it comes in
handy for those foreign movies he watches all the time.

    ..........................................................

He said his college football coach took a 5% salary cut during the last recession. The college was
really grateful because it meant they could hire 3 more teachers.

    ..........................................................

I got a degree in History. Of course, it was much easier back then - not much had happened!

    ..........................................................

The teacher asked young Mike, “Please complete this sentence; ‘When the going gets tough, …..
?”  

Mike said, “I don’t know – I don’t walk anywhere if I can help it!”

    ..........................................................

When he was at college, Arthur got a letter from his Mother, with all the news from home. At the
bottom, she wrote, “I was going to put in $50 for you but I’ve already sealed the envelope.”

    ..........................................................

The following week, Arthur got a parcel from home. His mother said, “I’m sending your favorite
jacket. Your father said it was too heavy and would cost too much to send. So, I cut off the
buttons and put them in the pocket.”

    ..........................................................

Shortly after he became a judge, he found his old English teacher in front of him for a traffic
offense.  

The teacher said, “Your Honor, I’m guilty but I hope you won’t fine me because we teachers are
very low paid.”

The judge said, “Mr Smythe, I’ve got something much more appropriate. I want you to sit at the
back of the Court and you mustn’t leave until you’ve written ‘I must not double park’ 500 times!”

    ..........................................................

The Professor addressed the class on the first day of the term, “If there are any rowdy fools in
this group, please stand now and save us all time later.”  

Just one student, at the back of the room, rose. The professor frowned at him, then said, “Are
you really a noisy fool?”  

The student said, “Not really but I thought you’d get lonely just standing up all by yourself!”

    ..........................................................

The teacher told Barry’s parents, “Your son has a lightning mind – occasional flashes but,
otherwise, total darkness!”

    ..........................................................

Anne woke up about 2a.m. to see Henry sitting on the side of their bed, shaking and sweating.
She asked,” Are you alright, Darling?”

Henry said through chattering teeth,” Go back to sleep. I’ll be okay soon. I can’t help it - every
now and again, I remember the 2 years I spent in that place!”

Anne asked, “The Army?”

“No,” said Henry, “the third grade!”

    ..........................................................

The teacher told the children to be careful gong home because it had been snowing. She
also told them to always wear warm clothing this time of year because one little boy, the
previous year, went out with his sled – didn’t wear a jacket, became lost and froze to
death.

Little Hiram put up his hand and asked, “Miss, what happened to his sled?”

    ..........................................................

The Principal of my old College took over as Chief Warden of the County Jail. He said
one of the main reasons was that he wanted to meet more of the college graduates.

    ..........................................................

It was my old school’s big Quiz Night.

The headmaster acted as compere. He asked the last 3 contestants, “Please finish this sentence;
“Old McDonald had a what?”

The first boy said, “Old McDonald had a wife? “

The compere said, “Sorry, you’re eliminated.”

The second boy said, “Old McDonald had a barn? “

The compere said, “Sorry, you’re eliminated too.”

The first boy said, “Old McDonald had a farm? “

The compere said, “Fantastic! Now, please spell it?”
 
The was an extract from the book The Power of Laughter that you are going to find out more
about.  Here is the Table of Contents of the book:

                    We Need Humor
    You Can Tell A Joke Well
       *      Speak At Normal Pace
       *      Laugh At Nerves
       *      Jokes And Stories
    Silly Seasoning
       *      Leave Them Laughing
       *      Risque Jokes
       *      Insults And Put-Downs
       *      Aim At Yourself
    Remember The Point
       *      Never Explain The Joke
    Keep It Simple
       *      Just Use Email For Messages
       *      Keep It Short
       *      Laughing At Your Own Joke
       *      The Wrong Joke Or The Wrong Audience
       *      Keep Niche Jokes For Niche People
       *      Telling In-Jokes
       *      Talking Over Children's Heads
    Be A Good Audience
    Steal From The Best
    Being Natural .... Takes Practice
    The Way You Tell Them
       *      Timing
       *      Your Biggest Asset
       *      Impressions And Accents
    When Your Joke Bombs
    Golden Jokes
       *      Polish And Practice
    Remembering People
    Stunts
       *      Cracker Surprise
       *      Sawing A Lady - Stage 1
    The Jokes ... At Last!
    Animals
       *      Koalas
    Birds
    Authority
       *      Law
       *      Royalty
       *      Taxes
    Business
       *      Bosses
       *      Accountants
       *      Computers
       *      Economists
       *      Holidays
       *      Lawyers
       *      Office Hours
    Celebrations
    Crime
    Education
    Ethnic
       *      Australian
       *      British
    Friends
    Hard Labor
       *      Painters
       *      Plumbers
    Health
       *      Drinking
       *      Exercise
       *      Hospitals
       *      Smokers
    Insects
       *      Ants
       *      Bees
       *      Fleas
    Money
    Our Happy Home
       *      Children
       *      Cooking
       *      Marriage
    Politics
    Religion
    Restaurants
    Roasts
    Rules To Live By
       *      Critic's Law
       *      Eighty - Twenty Rule
       *      The Law Of Grants
       *      Law Of History
       *      Law Of Home Economics
       *      John's Rule
       *      One Percent Rule
       *      Politician's Rules
       *      Law Of The Possible
       *      Law Of Projects
       *      Law Of Sausage
       *      Law Of Success
       *      Timely Laws
    Science
    Show Business
       *      Actors
       *      Musicians
    Speakers
    Sports
       *      Football
       *      Golf Skiing
    Toasts
    Travel
    Transport
       *      Cars
       *      Railways
    War Of The Sexes
       *      He vs She
    Writers
    Using Humor To Heal
 
Picture this. You're standing around the water cooler at the office, sharing comments about last
nights favorite sitcom. Here comes "Joe the Jerk", the buffoon of the office staff.

He butts in with, "have you heard the latest about the farmers daughter?" He launches into his
latest off color joke completely ignoring the gender or makeup of his audience.

When he finally finishes, an uncomfortable silence falls across the group. Moments later one or
two people may offer a half hearted chuckle and the group breaks up heading back to their
workplace amid an uncomfortable atmosphere.

Unfortunately this, or something similar, happens every day around the globe.

There's no doubt about it, laughter truly is the best medicine. You probably have your own
personal "library" of jokes that you roll out when the occasion arises.

However, have you ever given any thought to "joke etiquette?" Probably not, because until now
there hasn't been any guidelines written on the subject.

That's no longer the case. The Power of Laughter brings you a long list of wonderfully laughable
jokes ... however ... it doesn't stop there.

Not just another overdone "joke book", The Power of Laughter explores the anatomy of a joke
from introduction straight through to delivery.

He discusses the right and wrong way to tell a joke and teaches you how to determine the
"appropriateness" and timing of your joke.

He also explores:

     * How to keep it simple
     * Laughing at your own joke
     * Risque jokes - yes or no
     * Insults and put-downs
     * Wrong joke or wrong audience
     * Timing
     * How to steal from the best
     * How to be a good audience
     * Your biggest asset

John Williams does not promise that you'll be the next star on the professional comedy circuit, but
he does teach you how to add humor and life to your social and business encounters.

Whether you are already a good storyteller or someone who would like to learn how to develop
and deliver a repertoire, there is something for everyone in The Power of Laughter.

Grab your copy today and be the life of the party tomorrow!
 
 
This ebook normally retails for $17.  However, as you need to more than stretching your time, I
am pleased to provide the following 8 other ebooks completely free, as bonuses.
 
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Your
Attitude - Your Self-Esteem
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The Power of Laughter
+
Your Attitude Your Self-Esteem
+
Streamline Your Communication
+
Organize Your Life
+
7 Ways to Live Life to the Max
+
How to be Happy
+
Motivate Your Way to Success
+
Stress the Silent Killer
+
Taking Control of Your Life
 
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